Category Archives: starting over

The Unmade Me

Sigh. Coming here makes me feel sad. I used to write. I used to get paid to write (crazy, I know). I used to get paid to write and have ideas and share those ideas and then work with wonderfully … Continue reading

Posted in depression, fear, living in the quiet, loss, starting over | Tagged , , | 31 Comments

When the Tiniest Shift is a Landslide

Oh the tectonic plates of the self, how they move. Months, then years, of the tiniest little shifts, certainly almost imperceptible. And then: whooooosh! A great surging up, the creation of a mountain range, from which an entirely new, yet familiar, … Continue reading

Posted in flux, starting over, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 9 Comments

Layers of Endings

In my life, very few shifting events—those decisive moments when life goes from This to That—unfold in a solo way, happening all by itself. I seem to get disruptions in big, broad swaths, multiple aspects of my dailyness undone at once. Here … Continue reading

Posted in loss, starting over | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

The In Betweens

So I finished my first draft of a book outline — and not surprisingly, it’s not quite good yet. No, truly. That’s my agent talking, not just me. And it’s been enough weeks since I finished it, that I can … Continue reading

Posted in flux, starting over | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

What Is Within My Silence?

I have always lived in chaos. It’s what I was born to, first of all: a dramatic and dynamic mother, a total whirlwind of personality, charm and presence whose mind was a turbulent sea, able to pull her underwater at … Continue reading

Posted in living in the quiet, starting over | Tagged , , , , , | 23 Comments

It’s Just Me

Aaaaaah, my blog. My little home space. My big white box that connects me to about three dozen people who know me so well. The intimate audience of people whose questions about life are similar to mine. Hello. I am … Continue reading

Posted in living, starting over, writing | Tagged , , | 10 Comments

The Changes: A New Starting Over

I’ve been swallowed up. I am in the beast and the beast is me. Change is all around me, once again and as always. But this time it all feels different. I am not digging out, not anymore. I am … Continue reading

Posted in flux, gratitude, starting over, Uncategorized | 11 Comments

Looking Over My Shoulder

I undertook a big renovation in my house this year, adding a new bathroom and a walk-in closet to the big open room I decided to turn into a master bedroom when I bought the house. This meant stealing five … Continue reading

Posted in loss, starting over, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

What’s Left Behind

So I’m settling into this amazing new life I made for myself. And, truly, I do wake up every day and come home from work in the evenings on the days I go into the city and think, “Oh my … Continue reading

Posted in grief, loss, starting over, Uncategorized | 21 Comments

Beautiful Morning Rain

Today: this. Woke up to the gorgeous sound of hearing rain hammer down on my roof. The house is L-shaped, so the sound kind of wanders. Lying in bed, I could follow it through the TV room, hear it louder … Continue reading

Posted in gratitude, starting over, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 7 Comments