Tag Archives: loss

The Unmade Me

Sigh. Coming here makes me feel sad. I used to write. I used to get paid to write (crazy, I know). I used to get paid to write and have ideas and share those ideas and then work with wonderfully … Continue reading

Posted in depression, fear, living in the quiet, loss, starting over | Tagged , , | 34 Comments

Healed, I Yearn for Her

My mother is dead. She has been gone for five and half years, not that I’m counting. Well, okay, sometimes I count. But grief is forever new. When it shows up, it’s as fresh and fertile as a garden in … Continue reading

Posted in mother | Tagged , , , | 10 Comments

I Choose Devotion

This is the last day of the year 2012. A year I am happy to usher to its end, because in my heart I truly believe as this year comes to a close, so, too will I be closing the … Continue reading

Posted in self, Uncategorized | Tagged , | 34 Comments

Life’s Perfect Strangeness

  So I’m preparing today for the arrival of my recently-exed boyfriend, so he can get all of his belongings out of my home. They are interwoven into my things so completely; everywhere I turn I find something else. It’s … Continue reading

Posted in starting over | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

A beautiful day

My house is calm, dustless, serene. The breeze is blowing gently through the windows. The air from a fan I’ve put on the floor is swanning around my ankles, as the ceiling fan in the living room makes its lazy … Continue reading

Posted in loss | Tagged , | 6 Comments

How Do You?

How do you manage an impossible decision? How do you sort between two options you know will leave you unsatisfied or heartbroken? How do you find the strength to unseat plans made and throw your life back into neutral? I … Continue reading

Posted in flux | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

In California, the Vague Becomes Clear

I am being coddled at the moment, as I am currently in Sonoma Valley (at the Mighty Summit), enjoying wine and the company of 28 other amazing, interesting, funny women. And as I’ve met each one and been asked the … Continue reading

Posted in flux, living, loss, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 14 Comments

A Motto to Live By

I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m someone who believes in the power of mantras, words to focus on to redirect one’s thoughts. In fact, all the chapter headings in my book are the actual words I repeated to myself … Continue reading

Posted in flux | Tagged , , , , , , | 30 Comments

Independence

So July 4 was yesterday. You probably knew that, what with the hot dogs and fireworks and all that. And you’re especially lucky if you live in a small town that still does the small-town parade thing. I am from … Continue reading

Posted in loss | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

What Doesn’t Fill In the b l a n k s

So a brave internet friend (I’ll call her Alice) has been dealing with a hideous and heartbreaking mess, the place where medicine stops helping the depressive mind. I’m so sorry she’s going through hell (symptoms, side effects, seriously unpleasant stuff). … Continue reading

Posted in living, loss, starting over | Tagged , , , | 18 Comments