Who Am I?

That is a simple question that has many answers.

I am a writer, and a seeker. Those two traits often travel together. I am also, professionally speaking, in no particular order: an author (Falling Apart In One Piece), a longtime magazine editor (and now longtime former magazine editor), a messaging and content consultant, a freelance writer, and a life coach of sorts (have never gotten comfortable with that terminology, and am accepting better ideas). I am also, perhaps also professionally, a wonderer and a wanderer, one by choice, the latter by circumstance.

The first four decades of my life were All According to Plan. (I am consoled knowing I always credited luck.) The decade since I turned 40 has been all question marks and middle fingers and low-grade anxiety, peppered with the brilliant shards of light and grace and peace, which is how I’m still here in the trenches fighting the good fight.

What I write about here? I don’t know. This is the rebirth of a blog I started when I was running Redbook magazine (may she rest in peace) and when these things formerly known as blogs were still kinda new. In the middle of that journey, my life turned upside down and inside out: divorce when my son was an infant, a flawed and flooding house that nearly undid me, my parents’ coinciding sudden, grave illnesses, the publication of my book which was about the first two items, and then, my parents’ deaths, four weeks apart, the end of publishing and my career, and the beginning of what I have now come to think of as The Great Drift.

I don’t know much. And I certainly know less than I did a decade ago. But I am certain that the company we make for each other along the way — witnessing, listening — is a solid thing in a world gone sideways. And so after having deleted this blog in a fit of despair in 2018, I’ve decided to revive it. Because sideways is indeed the world we live in, and for sure we all need more company.

I lost my voice when I got scared. I’m still afraid and uncertain and feel mighty directionless. But I remembered that writing used to mean a lot to me. And I want to try to find that again.

Thanks for being here